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The Cheese

Now when Hans and I make an abomination onto the world for Bolt Burger, we try to meet three simple goals

make it nutritious

make it deadly

make it easy to reproduce

This cheese meets these standards, but just barely. Our cheese grows from a mutated chunk of cheddar cheese. It spawns little minions of itself that run around and kill people, and its flavor changes depending on the type of cheese it eats. Yes, this cheese is cannibalistic. Excluding our bread though, it’s the second harmless item we have. Sure, it used to be fun beating these things up by the dozen. However, they just got boring and predictable.

We eventually gathered as much as we could and through them all into an unmarked cave in Samantha’s death biome (see lettuce) where we send our interns for training. Fortunately this cheese seems to get tougher with each new generation of cheese minions, so the three of us may actually get a decent workout by 2050. If nothing else.